Wednesday, September 02, 2015

Mr Pothole anger

Oxford Mail: Man arrives in Witney to give David Cameron a telling-off about potholes

He says "Mr Pothole", we say "Mr Self-Appointed Expert" (or not.  He seems legit, so good luck with taking the fight to ham face )

Bowling club anger

Torquay Herald Express: "Stop using our bowling club as a toilet"

"...go to Paignton Bowling Club instead"


Dumped dog mess anger

Grimsby Telegraph: Stop dumping bags of dog poo next to our beautiful fence

With a comment by somebody who hates dogs so much, his avatar is a picture of a dog doing a shit.

Tuesday, September 01, 2015

Fell down a hole anger

Canterbury Times: Man falls down hole

New tag: "Paint me Jack, like one of your French girls"

Spotter's Badge: Michael

Bus stop outside my house anger

Wiltshire Times: How dare the council paint a bus stop at the end of my drive

His argument being -- "What if I need to get my car off my drive and there's a bus at the stop?"

Answer: Wait for the bus to go. You will not die waiting.

(Note the lack of shits being given by passengers waiting in the shelter)

Too much poo anger

Northern Echo: Dog mess in park 'becoming a health hazard'

Also, a bit less of this, you curs.


Monday, August 31, 2015

Fart blaster anger

Nottingham Post: Kid's fart blaster toy confiscated at airport for being security risk

Set one of those off on a plane and the whole jaloppy could burst. Don't say we didn't warn you.

Spotter's Badge: Jon

No landline anger

Huddersfield Daily Examiner: Couple have no landline, refuse to use mobile phone

Every Marvel film has a Stan Lee cameo. Here's yours.

Spotter's Badge: Chloe

Escaped cat anger

Southern Daily Echo: Timothy Spall to play man whose cat escaped from the vets

A superb study in no cats.

Sunday, August 30, 2015

War memorial garden anger

Burton Mail: Wild war memorial garden is a little too wild for our liking and is an insult to our war dead, can we have it a little less wild please?

Council: *sigh* It's supposed to look like that, you're the ones who asked for a wild flower garden.

Cemetery dog poo anger

The Cornishman: Please stop your dogs from crapping on our dead people

Because come the zombie uprising, they're going to be so, so angry.

No bus shelter anger

Blackpool Gazette: Give us a bus shelter, say local people

But as other local people point out, this is Blackpool, tat capital of the world, where a man called Ron by Central Pier can sell you a golf umbrella for just £2.99

Saturday, August 29, 2015

Thin excuse for speeding anger

Lancashire Telegraph: Driver claims he didn't know about new speed limit because he couldn't read the sign

Nice try, chap. And no sympathy at all in the comments, except from somebody who claims to be a lawyer. Who is probably not a lawyer.

Spotter's Badge: Karen

Donkey parking ticket anger

Blackpool Gazette: Something about donkeys and parking and I realised I got the link wrong and I'm in a cafe and I'll fix it properly when I get home, Ok?

http://m.blackpoolgazette.co.uk/news/i-ll-not-pay-up-donkey-drama-as-owner-vows-to-fight-parking-fine-1-7418816


In other news, beach donkey rides are still a thing in the 1950s.

Spotter's Badge: Wayne

Fakey speed camera anger

Shropshire Star: Family erects cardboard speed camera to fool drivers

As you'd expect, the local pen-pushers are steaming about it.